Comedic Legend of Our Time Trolls Obvious Scammer to Perfection, Vowing to Marry Her in 'Hindu Mosque'

Author image for mattstaff
mattstaff
Jan 24, 2017 3:00 PM EST

In this 'line of work' we come across a garbage truckload of shit-coated, glaringly fake text conversations pinned together by Imgurians hungrily looking to score a big bag of upvotes. But this, this right here is a goldmine, dude. Scammers are the bane of the earth, and I've had my fair run-ins with a few, but color me inspired by this guys' ability to goad one hell of a ridiculous string of responses from whoever existed on the other end of that 'phone line.' 

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  • 01
    Text - So how much money do you want me to send? Jan 19 For me to get a plane ticket or you coming down here Jan 19 Whatever works better for you. I'm dying to meet you. I will have to say good bye to my parrot and my genie with a heavy heart but it is okay because I can see a life ahead. I can stay with you and open a 7-Eleven. Then we will make babies together Jan 19 I bet it's gonna be a lifetime experience for you and for us to be together I will send you an info now to send the money to and
    via @ofnosurname
  • 02
    Text - Clara Julliard Scott X @clara_julliard Hello how are you doing and your family? I just checked your profile on here and get so much interested in knowing more about you I'm so sorry if I sound so rude to you. Jan 17 I'm fine. No, you aren't sounding rude. Yours sincerely. Jan 18 Thank you for the sincere heart Where are you from and what you do for a living Jan 18 Nothing much. I just make ends meet. Have ancestral property, so money is not an issue with me. Life is good Jan 18 I'm happy
    via @ofnosurname
  • 03
    Text - You can stay at my palace. Jan 19 Hmm What a gigolo Jan 19 And, what, are you trying to troll me now? Jan 19 Because the spelling is google, not gigolo lol Jan 19 Check the meaning of gigolo in your dictionary Ок Jan 19 In my village, there's no dictionary. We go to the town to see the doctor. It is a beautiful place Very quiet You can gigolo my town if you want Come to India and I shall send you my royal elephant to receive you from the airport
    via @ofnosurname
  • 04
    Text - Well you have a good idea and a very interesting move for me Jan 19 But will you fund my trip to your country hun Jan 19 Yes, I will fund your trip. Money is never an issue for me. My uncle is the head priest at the local marijuana plantation. Looking forward to our camel rides together. Jan 19 Oh that sound pretty complete to me Jan 19 Why aren't you replying? Did I say anything wrong? You can take rides on our local breed of ostriches if you don't like camels Jan 19 I'm not sure there i
    via @ofnosurname
  • 05
    Text - Come to India and marry me. We have 1001 slaves here Jan 19 OK sweetie Jan 19 I will accept you here in the USA if you can come here but I don't think its necessary for you to come here Jan 19 I can come to USA and accept your family and you as my own Jan 19 Its gonna be a lot of expenses for you coming here and you bringing me with you to India Jan 19 You will still need me to get you an invitation to come here hun Jan 19 It is okay Don't worry about money Jan 19 Sorry about my late repl
    via @ofnosurname
  • 06
    Text - Will you just being too buoyant about the money cause this not all about money It's about feelings and respect Jan 19 But I have all the money, honey. I just don't have love. Come to my village. I will get a mineral water plant installed for you here. And also get you cable TV to watch that great American show FRIENDS with full stops between them. Jan 19 If you want to get me there you can send the money today and if you still need to come here you will still need to send me some money to
    via @ofnosurname
  • 07
    Text - Here's the info to send the money sweetie Name: Marilyn Tanner City: Niles.. State: Michigan. Zip code:49120. Country: USA Jan 19 My siblings Jan 19 Your sibling is beautiful. Who is the balding slave boy behind you? Does he do your dishes? I'm sorry if I'm not culturally aware of who he is. Jan 19 How much money is sufficient to be sent to Marilyn Tanner? I will PayPal the amount Jan 19 I will be needing $855 sweetie Jan 19 I shall send you $1000, love. Jan 19 It was for this that my fat
    via @ofnosurname
  • 08
    Eyewear - I will be waiting you at the airport with my siblings to receive you sweetie Jan 20 I will just feel good seeing your pictures and think of romancing you. It would be intel for my pintel Jan 20 Jan 20 Thank you my king 1d Namaste 1d
    via @ofnosurname
  • 09
    Text - Nice. I am going to sleep now. According to the Inca calendar that we follow, I cannot do cash transactions for another 18 hours. So now your money transfer will be with you only tomorrow. What will you use this money for? 23h Its for the hotel booking 23h I will need you to book a Hindu mosque as well. Let me know how much that costs, and I shall add it to the $1000. 23h I am going to sleep and dream of you now. Bye, honeybunny! Thank you for coming in my life. 22h I'm speechless with th
    via @ofnosurname
  • 10
    Text - Hope you dream about me, as for me my heart was with you all night long 8h I only dream about you now. I am in love and am looking forward to our life together. 7h Baby can I ask you for some more help? I am now flying on 31st January 2017 with my head priest to USA. He will purify the marriage venue with my grandfather's ashes. My grandfather, meanwhile, will be taking the flight on 1st along with my parents. The marriage will be on the 3rd February at 4.20pm. You will have to book a pet
    via @ofnosurname
  • 11
    Text - Baby, my CA will send $16000 to you in the next few hours. I am sitting with my family priest to figure the auspicious time of sending the money to you. Also, my mother is sending you her blessings. She is happy I have met up with a woman of such beauty and grace. 5h Yes my love 5h Oh that's gonna be the most complete thing that ever happens to me and I've always love the india traditions... 5h Do you ever need an auspicious time to send me the money my love? I hope it's soon enough to ge
    via @ofnosurname
  • 12
    Text - You there, my Juliet? 4h I would be ever so honored if you quickly deposit $100 in my account as a sign of your love so that I get a long life. I don't believe in dowry but respect Indian traditions 4h Is that all 4h Yes. I don't even want this dowry, but my head priest is insisting on the same. My mother is crying becauseI just beheaded the man. What do I do my love! These traditions are stupid, but everybody is scared I will die on the day of marriage if this dowry does not come to me.
    via @ofnosurname
  • 13
    Website - Are you testing me, honey? Looks like you do not trust me. Here are my family pictures. 3h This is me with my first wife. She is now married to my uncle who happens to be my mother's first husband 3h This is the royal wedding of my second wife and me. She was my father's wife before she married me. On top, second from right is my father's other wife Now you trust me? Зh Let me see your mother and siblings Зh Then I can send money to your family who which to sale there child for money J
    via @ofnosurname
  • 14
    Text - These are my father's other wives. Give me the picture that is important OK 2h I don't like the way you are talking to me, honey Do you not care for me? Do you not trust me? In that case, what is the point behind this marriage? 2h It is okay sweetheart. I do not want you to marry me without any love or trust. You are dam Scam 2h No no. I am not dam Scam. People confuse me with him because we have similar features. It is the nose 2h |2h
    via @ofnosurname
  • 15
    Text - I work for my Mooney 2h Oh come on hooney. Even I work for my mooney. 2h I can give to you more than what you have in your scam life ANd ask for help than getting you head and brain crack 2h Why are you getting angry? What happens to our marriage now? Don't you have to book the hotels? Don't you want $16100? 2h Dirty Not interested 2h My baby boo I will PayPal the money 2h If you keep I message l block you 2h I just sent you the money. Check PayPal. Here's the link. 2h instagram.com/karla
    via @ofnosurname

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